Your love is the anchor
Perhaps your child has shared a new name or different pronouns.
Maybe they’re expressing themselves in ways that are new to you.
Such gender exploration journeys are becoming more visible among today’s teens.
As a parent, your first instinct is to ensure your child is happy, healthy, and safe. Your love for them is unwavering, but you might feel uncertain about how to best offer your support.
If you’re learning alongside your child, you are in the right place.
Your journey is a testament to the trust your teen has in you. Understanding the landscape—both the beauty of your teen’s self-discovery and the real mental health risks they may face—is the most powerful way to become the ally and advocate they need.
Understanding the landscape: Why now?
It may seem like conversations about gender identity are everywhere these days.
In part, this reflects a society that is slowly becoming more open, allowing young people the space to explore who they are. For many teens, this newfound openness provides the language and community to articulate feelings they’ve had for a long time.
For some teens, such exploration is a normal part of adolescent development. For others, it is a profound journey of affirming a core aspect of themselves.
Your role isn’t to have all the answers but to provide a safe harbor for them to figure it out.
The connection between gender identity and mental health
It is a difficult but critical truth that teens who are transgender, non-binary, or exploring their gender identity experience significantly higher rates of mental health challenges. Research from organizations like The Trevor Project consistently shows that these youth face alarming rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation.
It is vital to understand that these mental health risks are not an inherent part of being transgender or gender-diverse.
Sometimes, they are a direct result of the stress and hardship experienced while navigating a world that isn’t always accepting. Such stressors include
- Gender dysphoria: Significant distress or discomfort felt when one’s gender identity does not align with their natal sex.
- Social stigma and bullying: Facing prejudice, rejection, or bullying from peers, family members, or society at large.
- Family rejection: The fear or reality of not being accepted by the people who matter most.
- Anxiety about the future: Worry about safety, their ability to transition (if they choose to), and their place in the world.
This is why parental support is so crucial.
Research shows that having just one accepting adult can reduce the risk of a suicide attempt among LGBTQ+ youth by 40%.
How you can help: A foundation of support
Helping children and teens with gender identity doesn’t require you to become an expert overnight. It begins with love, respect, and a willingness to listen and learn.
You should focus on creating a safe emotional space for exploration and supporting your teen’s mental well-being, long before considering any medical steps.
- Use their chosen name and pronouns: This is an important and immediate way to show respect and support your child’s identity. It may take practice, but your effort sends a powerful message: “I see you, I love you, and I will be on this journey with you.” If you make a mistake, just calmly correct yourself and move on.
- Listen more, talk less: Your teen is the expert on their own feelings. Create a nonjudgmental space for them to share their experiences without you trying to “fix” anything. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share their introspection, such as “How has that been feeling for you?” or “What does that name mean to you?”
- Educate yourself: Take the initiative to learn about gender identity from reputable sources like The Trevor Project or PFLAG. This takes the burden off your child to be your sole educator and shows you are invested in understanding their world.
- Advocate for them: Whether it’s ensuring teachers use their chosen name at school or standing up to a dismissive comment from a relative, being your child’s advocate in outside settings is a powerful act of love and protection.
- Focus on mental health support: The most important step you can take is to ensure your teen has strong mental health support. The process of gender exploration can be stressful and may be intertwined with other mental health issues, so having a professional to talk to is invaluable. An assessment with a qualified therapist can help determine if your child is struggling with co-occurring anxiety, depression, or trauma that needs to be addressed.
Avery’s House: Neuro-affirming, compassionate care
At Avery’s House, we are committed to providing a safe, inclusive, and accepting environment for all teens, including those who identify as transgender or non-binary and those actively exploring their gender identity.
While we are not a gender clinic, we specialize in treating the serious mental health conditions—like anxiety, depression, and the effects of trauma—that can accompany a teen’s journey.
Our approach is simple: we honor and respect every teen while providing evidence-based therapies to build resilience, manage distress, and develop a strong sense of self-worth.
Our commitment to family therapy ensures that you, as a parent, are part of the healing process, learning how to best support your child and strengthen your family bonds.
Your love and acceptance are the most important factors in your child’s well-being.
And when you need backup to help them navigate the heavy feelings that can come with this journey, we’re here to help.
Contact Avery’s House today to learn more about our supportive approach to teen mental health.
