Wondering if your child is neurodivergent?
A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Neurodivergent Teens
Parenting a teen is never easy. But if your child has a harder time than other kids with emotions, friendships, or school, something deeper may be going on. You may be wondering if your child is neurodivergent.
Is my child neurodivergent?
This guide will help you understand…
- What “neurodivergent” means and how it’s different from “neurotypical”
- Common traits and symptoms in neurodivergent teens
- Conditions that fall under neurodivergence (like autism, ADHD, and dyslexia)
- How to know if your child is neurodivergent
- What steps to take if your teen needs extra support
By the end, you’ll understand your child better and feel more confident about what to do next.
What does neurodivergent mean?
Neurodivergent means a person’s brain works in ways different from what’s considered “typical.” These differences can affect how someone thinks, learns, feels, or interacts with others.
The idea of neurodiversity helps explain this. Neurodiversity includes the full range of different ways human brains work.
Neurotypical people’s brains work in ways that usually fit school, home, and social expectations.
Neurodivergent people’s brains work in less common ways, but these ways are equally valid and valuable.
Neurodivergent vs. neurotypical teen brains
It’s hard to picture what “neurodivergent” looks like in everyday life, but here’s one way to think about it:
Imagine two gardens…
In the first, plants grow in neat rows—sunflowers, tulips, daisies. Everything is organized, predictable, and easy to tend to. This is like a neurotypical teen’s brain. It usually fits smoothly into school routines and social life.
In the second, wildflowers pop up next to herbs, vines climb in various directions, and colors spill out everywhere. At first, it might look a little messy, but when you step back, you see it’s vibrant and full of life. This is closer to how a neurodivergent teen experiences the world.
Neurodivergent teens’ brains don’t always “line up” the way others do, but they bring creativity, perspective, and strengths you won’t find anywhere else. With the right support, they don’t need to change their garden. They can thrive by being fully themselves.
Neurodivergent symptoms: Signs to look for in teens
Every teen is unique. But there are some common signs of a neurodivergent child.
These aren’t “deficits.” They are a mix of strengths and challenges that reflect different ways of experiencing and responding to the world.
Common strengths in neurodivergent teens
- Creative, “outside the box” ideas
- Great memory or deep focus on favorite topics
- Honest and straightforward communication
- Strong passion for hobbies or special interests
Common challenges in neurodivergent teens
- Trouble reading social cues or making friends
- Difficulty staying focused or organized in school
- Sensitive to sounds, lights, or textures
- Strong reactions to changes in routine
- Big emotional ups and downs
If your child seems different from their peers in some of these ways, it doesn’t mean something is wrong. It may simply mean their brain processes the world differently. And they may need environments and strategies that match how they work best.
Common conditions that fall under neurodivergence
Neurodivergent conditions include
- Autism spectrum disorder (ASD): Differences in social communication, sensory processing, and interests or routines.
- ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder): Challenges with attention, organization, and impulsivity, often along with high creativity and energy.
- Dyslexia and other learning differences: Difficulties with reading, writing, or math, while often showing strengths in problem-solving or visual thinking.
- Sensory processing differences: Over- or under-sensitivity to sounds, lights, textures, or movement.
Related conditions often seen in teens
Some neurodivergent teens also live with co-occurring conditions such as
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Trauma-related challenges
These don’t define a teen as “neurodivergent” on their own, but they are common in teens whose brains work differently.
How do I know if my child is neurodivergent?
If you suspect your teen is neurodivergent, the only way to confirm is with a professional evaluation. These are usually done by a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, or neuropsychologist and may include interviews, questionnaires, and cognitive or behavioral testing.
First steps for parents
- Talk to your pediatrician: Share your concerns and ask for a referral to a specialist.
- Check with your child’s school: Many schools can provide assessments or connect you with educational psychologists.
- Seek a child psychologist or neuropsychologist: These professionals can provide formal testing and diagnosis.
- Ask about developmental or behavioral specialists: This is especially important if your teen has multiple or complex needs.
A professional evaluation can give you clarity, help your child access the right supports, and guide your family in making the best decisions.
Supporting neurodivergent teens
Understanding is the first step, but support is what helps teens truly thrive. Parents often ask what they can do day to day to help their neurodivergent teen.
Here are a few proven approaches:
- Create routines: Predictability reduces stress and gives teens a sense of control.
- Break tasks into steps: Smaller steps make schoolwork or chores less overwhelming.
- Encourage strengths: Whether art, sports, music, or technology, nurturing passions builds confidence.
- Use sensory supports: Noise-canceling headphones, quiet spaces, or flexible clothing can make a big difference.
- Practice patience and empathy: Remember, your teen isn’t being “difficult.” Their brain simply processes things differently.
How to explain neurodivergence to your teen or their siblings
Explaining neurodivergence can be tricky, especially if you don’t want your child to feel labeled or “different.” Here are a few ways to keep the conversation simple, positive, and clear.
1. Use everyday analogies
- Garden: “Some gardens grow in neat rows, and others grow wild with many colors and shapes. Both are beautiful.”
- Technology: “Some brains run like PCs and others like Macs. Neither is better, they just run on different systems.”
- Music: “Brains are like instruments in a band. Some are pianos, some drums, and some guitars. They sound different, but all are needed to make music.”
2. Keep it positive
Explain that being neurodivergent doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means their brain works in a unique way that comes with both challenges and strengths.
3. Focus on identity, not labels
Encourage your teen (and their siblings) to see neurodivergence as part of who they are, not a problem to be fixed.
4. Remind them of their strengths
Talk about the things your child is great at, whether that’s art, problem-solving, honesty, or creativity. This helps build pride and confidence.
Tip for Parents: If your child or their siblings have questions, it’s okay to say “I don’t know” and learn together. Most important is that they feel accepted, supported, and understood.
Next steps for parents of neurodiverse teens
If you think your teen is neurodivergent, take action.
- Trust your instincts as a parent. You know your child best.
- Talk with your pediatrician or school about an evaluation.
- Learn more about strategies that support neurodivergent teens at home and in school.
Remember: your child isn’t “broken.” Their brain simply works differently, and with the right support, they can thrive.
Parents often ask…
Is anxiety neurodivergent?
Not usually. But anxiety is common among neurodivergent teens.
Is dyslexia neurodivergent?
Yes. Dyslexia and other learning differences (like dyscalculia and dysgraphia) are types of neurodivergence.
Is PTSD neurodivergent?
No. PTSD itself isn’t considered neurodivergent, but trauma and neurodivergence often overlap.
Is bipolar disorder neurodivergent?
Bipolar disorder is generally seen as a mental health condition, not a neurodevelopmental difference. But some people may experience both.