How to Help an Autistic Child Make Friends

Teach social skills directly

Here are ways you can help your teen build core friendship skills:

• Give consistent feedback: Praise specific actions that went well and gently correct what didn’t. For instance, say, “I liked how you waited your turn,” instead of general praise.
• Break down specific skills: Focus on one skill at a time, like how to start a conversation or take turns speaking. This helps reduce overwhelm and gives your teen a clear goal to practice.
• Explain social rules clearly: Avoid vague advice like “just be yourself.” Spell out what works in different settings, such as how to greet someone on the playground or notice facial expressions that show interest.
• Practice with real-life examples: Use everyday situations to show what a good conversation or respectful disagreement looks like. You might act out a scene or talk through how to respond to a peer’s question.
• Use repetition and routine: Repeat practice often in similar settings so it feels familiar. This can help your child naturally develop social skills over time.

Help your teen use social skills in real situations

Learning a skill is one step—using it daily is another.

You can help your teen apply what they’ve learned across different settings by staying involved in a low-key, supportive way:

• Give gentle prompts before and after: Offer short reminders before a social event and talk through key moments afterward. This keeps your teen focused without making them feel like they’re being watched or embarrassed.
• Practice in different settings: Help your teen practice social skills in various settings, such as school, home, or the community, with other people. This can support generalization across environments and reduce difficulty with change.
• Talk through social experiences: After an interaction, ask what went well and what felt hard. Frame it as problem-solving, not judgment, to help your child understand what happened.

Work together and stay consistent

Friendship-building takes teamwork, patience, and a shared plan.

You can support your teen best by staying aligned, involved, and encouraging throughout the process:

• Include your teen in planning: Talk openly about social goals and why they matter. Teenagers are more likely to engage and try when they understand the purpose.
• Coordinate with professionals: Stay in touch with therapists, teachers, or a provider your child sees to keep your approach consistent. This is especially helpful if your child has an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis and already receives social support.
• Stick with it through ups and downs: Expect setbacks and focus on progress, not perfection. Celebrate every effort—it’s all part of developing stronger social confidence.

Understand different types of friendship

Friendships don’t all have to be deep or emotional to matter. No matter how casual, every connection can give your teen a sense of belonging.

You can help your teen recognize and value different kinds of friendships by:

• Highlighting shared enjoyment: Point out that enjoying the same activity, like gaming or building something together, can be enough to form a connection. Not all friends need to share feelings—some like the same games or hobbies.
• Explaining different roles: Show that some friends are great for specific conversations or activities. This helps your autistic child avoid the pressure to build only one type of relationship.
• Acknowledging all progress: Praise your teen for taking steps to reach out or interact with others. Every action matters, especially for a child with autism who may need support in social settings.