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Finding out your teen shoplifted can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to feel shocked and unsure how to respond. In this guide, you’ll learn why teens shoplift and how you can help them find healthier choices.
Key takeaways
- Teens may shoplift for reasons like peer pressure, poor impulse control, or thrill-seeking.
- Emotional stress, materialism, and lack of supervision can also influence teen shoplifting.
- Staying calm, setting clear rules, and seeking professional help can support your teen’s growth.
- Programs such as mentoring, community support, and family involvement can reduce the risk of repeat offenses.
- You play a key role in helping your teen understand the difference between right and wrong.
What causes teens to shoplift
Here are reasons why your teen shoplifts:
Lack of self-control
Some teens shoplift simply because they act without thinking, not because they plan to. A brain study found that teens who struggle to control their impulses are more likely to engage in theft. Lack of self-control can mean:
- Trouble controlling urges: Teens with poor self-control may act on sudden urges, even when they know it’s wrong to do so, such as stealing.
- Moments of poor judgment: In the heat of the moment, they might take something without thinking it through.
Thrill-seeking and risk-taking tendencies
Shoplifting can be an exciting experience for teenagers who enjoy taking risks.
A 2021 study found that teens who seek thrills are three times more likely to engage in theft. The search for an adrenaline rush can drive risky behaviors like:
- Chasing a rush: Teens may steal just for the temporary sense of excitement.
- Treating it like a game: Some see the act of shoplifting as a challenge.
- Ignoring consequences: The thrill may override awareness of the consequences of their actions.
Peer pressure in the moment
Some teens steal because their friends are doing it. A global survey conducted found that nearly half of teenage shoplifting cases come from peer pressure. This kind of influence can:
- Push them to fit in: Teens may steal from stores to impress their peers.
- Make it seem normal: If others also steal, it may seem like a victimless crime.
- Lower their guard: Being in a group that steals might make it feel easier to get away with something.
Materialism and social image pressure
A 2022 study found that teens who value money and social status are more likely to engage in theft. These pressures can:
- Create a strong desire for free stuff: Teens might feel they need certain brands to fit in.
- Reduce empathy: A focus on image can make them rationalize stealing items.
- Fuel comparisons: The desire to keep up may lead them to resort to theft.
Economic hardship
Some teens steal because money stress shapes how they think and act.
A U.S. study found that teens from low-income families were more likely to struggle with impulse control. This lack of self-control can:
- Lead to acting out: Financial stress may cause teens to act out by engaging in behaviors such as stealing or making excuses for poor behavior.
- Make them feel isolated: Without help, they may believe they have no choice but to resort to theft.
- Build up risky habits: A lack of support may lead to undesirable behaviors, such as shoplifting.
Moral disengagement and self-justification
Some teens convince themselves that stealing is okay. Research found that teens who made justifications and excuses for stealing and felt little guilt were more likely to repeat the behavior. These beliefs can:
- Excuse their actions: They may believe it hurts no one or that the store can’t afford the loss.
- Block feelings of guilt: Without remorse, they feel delinquent choices are acceptable.
Low parental monitoring and supervision
When parents of teens don’t know what their child is doing, shoplifting may become more likely. Lack of supervision can:
- Give more chances to act out: Teens may try pushing boundaries and steal something.
- Cause unclear boundaries: When rules aren’t enforced, the difference between right and wrong blurs.
- Make them feel invisible: Stealing may be a way to gain attention or test limits.
What to do if your teen is caught stealing
Hearing that your teen has shoplifted can feel shocking, upsetting, or even embarrassing. You may be unsure how to respond or worry that this behavior will continue. Here are ways to react and reduce the chances of it happening again:
Respond calmly to the situation
How you react in the moment can shape your teen’s attitude moving forward:
- Stay calm and grounded: Don’t yell or shame your teen. A quiet tone helps them feel safe to talk.
- Address the behavior directly: Make it clear it’s wrong to steal, but don’t label your teen a shoplifter.
- Ask open-ended questions: Ask what they were feeling or thinking before they decided to steal.
Follow up with consequences
Showing your teen that actions have consequences can help them learn:
- Involve them in making amends: Help your teen return the stolen property in person and write a sincere apology. This teaches accountability and helps them understand the harm that can be caused.
- Set consistent boundaries: Clearly explain what actions are not allowed and what specific consequences will follow if those rules are broken again.
- Avoid harsh punishments: Use consequences that teach and guide rather than punish. Avoid responses that rely on fear or shame; instead, focus on helping your teen develop better habits.
Understand the root cause
Stealing may reflect emotional and psychological stress:
- Talk without judgment: Ask open-ended questions, such as “What was going on when you decided to do this?” and listen without interrupting.
- Consider recent changes: Think about whether there have been new stressors at school, home, or with friends that may have overwhelmed them.
- Seek professional help if needed: If the problem persists, work with a counselor or mental health provider to develop a personalized treatment plan.
Rebuild trust and support
Support after the incident can prevent a repeat:
- Give chances to rebuild trust: First-time offenses can become learning moments.
- Stay involved: Keep up with their routines and feelings.
- Model honesty: Show the values you want them to follow.
Parents should consider family therapy if teen shoplifting continues or if emotional needs remain unmet. When theft involves the legal process, courts may recommend programs from the National Association for Shoplifting Prevention. While pressing charges is sometimes necessary, your support helps teens change more than punishment alone.
How to stop teen shoplifting
Teens can grow and change when given the right support. Here are some approaches that may help:
Set clear rules at home
Setting clear rules can help prevent problem behaviors. A study in Hong Kong found that teens with stable household rules showed fewer increases in delinquency, including stealing. To keep your rules effective:
- Set and enforce rules fairly: Respectful discipline helps teens understand boundaries.
- Don’t ease up over time: Less rule-setting was linked to more frequent shoplifting and other offenses.
- Balance firmness with warmth: Consistency works best when combined with emotional connection.
Monitor their daily activities
Staying involved in a teen’s daily life can lower the chance of risky behavior.
A U.S. study in 2024 found that teens in mental health treatment who had more involved parents reported fewer serious delinquent acts. To stay aware and connected:
- Check in about daily activities: Knowing your teen’s routines and plans helps reduce the likelihood of misbehavior.
- Stay informed without hovering: Being interested and aware shows teens that you care.
- Discuss their values frequently: Regular conversations about honesty and empathy help teens make informed decisions about what’s right.
Get them mentors
Mentorship can help teens feel supported, understood, and more in control of their choices.
One study found that teens in a mentoring program had up to 82% fewer risky behaviors and 15% fewer court charges by age 18. To support your teen with mentorship:
- Help them find a trusted mentor: Look for a caring adult, such as a coach, teacher, or counselor, who can connect with your teen regularly.
- Sign them up for mentoring programs: Choose programs that include both adult support and activities to build decision-making skills.
- Encourage long-term commitment: Mentoring works best when your teen can build a steady, ongoing relationship with someone who listens and guides.
Use social disapproval messaging
Teens often care deeply about what others think of them. In an experimental study, teens exposed to strong social disapproval messages such as letting down their family were less likely to say they would shoplift. To help your teen reflect on the social and emotional costs of stealing:
- Use clear legal consequences: Teens are more likely to stop shoplifting when they know there are real consequences if they’re caught.
- Talk about how it affects others: Teens may think twice when they understand the emotional harm of stealing.
- Focus on personal relationships: Teens care about how they are seen by others, especially friends and parents.
Consider community intervention programs
Community-based programs can reduce antisocial behaviors and support better decision-making. A 2022 study found that antisocial behaviors decreased by up to 55% among teens who participated in a community intervention program. To help your teen stop shoplifting through community prevention programs:
- Find prevention programs: Explore programs offered by your school district, local nonprofits, or community centers that follow research-based models, such as Communities That Care.
- Help your teen join local activities: Encourage them to participate in after-school programs, clubs, or service projects that foster positive social connections and interactions.
- Partner with others in your area: Reach out to other parents, school staff, or neighborhood leaders to create a shared plan for supporting teens and preventing shoplifting.
Final thoughts
Teen shoplifting doesn’t always mean something is seriously wrong. It can be a sign your teen is still learning how to handle urges, pressure, or stress. Your calm, steady support can help them learn from their choices and do better next time.
Taking the next steps
If your teen has been caught shoplifting, it’s often a sign of deeper issues; stress, emotional overwhelm, or a communication breakdown. These guides can help you respond with understanding and structure while guiding your teen toward better choices.
Better communication
- How to talk to a teen who doesn’t want to talk – Learn simple ways to connect with a teen who avoids talking or gets defensive.
- Active listening skills: how to listen to your teen – Learn how to show empathy through listening and create space for honest conversations.
Understand emotional triggers
- Teen anger issues: how to help an angry teenager – Explore the link between anger and impulsive behaviors like shoplifting.
- Teen loneliness – Recognize when isolation or low self-worth might be fueling risky behavior.
- How to help teens regulate their emotions – Help your teen build self-awareness and reduce impulsivity.
Address deeper behavioral patterns
- Oppositional defiant disorder in teens – If defiance is constant and intense, this guide can help you understand what’s behind the behavior.
- Manipulative teenager – Learn how to handle controlling behaviors without losing your cool or giving in.
- Why do teenagers lie? – Learn why dishonesty might be showing up alongside stealing and how to respond without escalating tension.
Residential Treatment for Teens
If shoplifting becomes a pattern, it can be a sign your teen needs more support than home alone can give.
Our residential program offers structured support to help teens understand their actions, build better habits, and feel more in control.
If you’ve noticed signs that your teen may be struggling, we’re here to support you both.
We support families at our facilities in Arizona and Idaho.
Call for more information.
(855) 506-1906
Sources
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- Siraj, R., Najam, B., & Ghazal, S. (2021). Sensation seeking, peer influence, and risk-taking behavior in adolescents. Education Research International, 2021, Article ID 8403024, 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1155/2021/8403024
- Felson, R. B., & Vanhee, A. J. (2023). Situational peer effects on delinquency. Justice Quarterly, 40(3), 427–449. https://doi.org/10.1080/07418825.2022.2060285
- Shek, D. T. L., Dou, D., Zhu, X., Li, X., & Tan, L. (2022). Materialism, egocentrism and delinquent behavior in Chinese adolescents in Mainland China: A short-term longitudinal study. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(8), 4912. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph19084912
- Brieant, A., Peviani, K. M., Lee, J. E., King-Casas, B., & Kim-Spoon, J. (2020). Socioeconomic risk for adolescent cognitive control and emerging risk-taking behaviors. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 31(1), 71–84. https://doi.org/10.1111/jora.12583
- De Buck, A., & Pauwels, L. J. R. (2022). Intentions to steal and the commitment problem: The role of moral emotions and self-serving justifications. Evolutionary Psychology, 20(3), Article 14747049221125105. https://doi.org/10.1177/14747049221125105
- Taussig, H. N., Dmitrieva, J., Garrido, E. F., Cooley, J. L., & Crites, E. (2021). Fostering Healthy Futures preventive intervention for children in foster care: Long-term delinquency outcomes from a randomized controlled trial. Prevention Science, 22(8), 1120–1133. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11121-021-01235-6
- Vermeir, I., De Bock, T., & Van Kenhove, P. (2017). The effectiveness of fear appeals featuring fines versus social disapproval in preventing shoplifting among adolescents. Psychology & Marketing, 34(3), 264–274. https://doi.org/10.1002/mar.20987
- Olsen, E. M., Whiteley, L. B., Tolou‐Shams, M., Esposito‐Smythers, C., & Brown, L. K. (2024, July 7). Family factors associated with delinquency outcomes in court‐involved youth in mental health treatment [Article in press]. JAACAP Open.