The blurry line between health and obsession
It may have started small.
Your teen announced they were “eating clean,” cutting out junk food, or trying a new wellness trend they saw online. You may have been proud of their commitment to health.
But now, weeks or months later, that pride has turned into a quiet, growing worry.
The list of forbidden foods has gotten longer. Your child seems anxious and irritable around mealtimes. You’re seeing a rigidity that seems less about health than about control.
If this sounds familiar, your concern is valid.
In a culture saturated with wellness content, the line between healthy habits and a dangerous obsession can be blurry. You’re not alone if you’re asking, does my child have an eating disorder?
Understanding the subtle signs of disordered eating in teens is the first step to helping them.
The wellness trend and its link to teen body image and mental health
Today’s teens are navigating a world where body image is under constant assault. The link between social media and eating disorders is a well-documented and growing crisis.
Every time they scroll, teens are inundated with algorithm-driven content, from AI-filtered “perfect” bodies to “What I eat in a day” videos that promote restrictive habits under the guise of health.
As the American Academy of Pediatrics notes, this constant exposure can lead to significant body dissatisfaction, anxiety, and a drive for perfection.
What causes eating disorders in teens? Often, it’s a combination of genetic and environmental factors, but the intense pressure from social media is a powerful new accelerant. It’s a major reason for the uptick in teen eating disorders.
Beyond the scale: Subtle signs of disordered eating
While many parents fear the possibility of an anorexic teen, the signs of disordered eating are often more subtle than a dramatic weight change.
Be on the lookout for these behavioral and emotional warning signs of eating disorders in teens:
- New, rigid food rules: Suddenly cutting out entire food groups (like carbs, fats, or sugar) without a medical or ethical reason.
- Obsessive behaviors: Constantly counting calories, zealously reading nutrition labels, or weighing food.
- Anxiety around food: Obvious distress or anxiety about eating meals they haven’t prepared themselves. They may seem angry or irritable at mealtimes.
- Social withdrawal: Avoiding social situations that involve food, like parties, family dinners, or eating out with friends.
- Compulsive body-checking: Repeatedly looking in the mirror, pinching their waist, or weighing themselves.
- Excessive, rigid exercise: Exercising as a “punishment” for eating certain foods or becoming distraught if they miss a planned workout.
How to help your child: A parent’s first steps
If you’re seeing these signs, your first instinct might be to panic. This is normal, but it’s important to channel this energy into effective strategies.
Here are a few suggestions for how to help a child with an eating disorder or disordered eating patterns:
- DON’T comment on their body or anyone else’s—even if it’s a compliment. Comments like “You look healthy” can be misconstrued as “You’ve gained weight.” Focus on their character, their kindness, and their non-physical strengths.
- DO focus on feelings and behaviors, not weight or food. Open the conversation with a gentle, nonjudgmental statement, such as “I’ve noticed you seem really stressed around dinner, and I’m worried about you. How are you feeling?”
- DON’T get into a power struggle. Saying “You just need to eat” or trying to force them to eat a “bad” food will only increase their anxiety and reinforce their need for control.
- DO clean up your own language regarding diet. Remove terms like “good food,” “bad food,” “guilty,” and “cheating.” Model a healthy, balanced relationship with food and your own body.
When a controlled diet is a coping mechanism for something deeper
It is critical to understand that disordered eating is almost never about the food itself.
It is usually a coping mechanism, a teen’s desperate attempt to feel in control when their internal world feels chaotic, overwhelming, or painful.
What are they coping with? Often, it’s a co-occurring mental health condition.
A teen’s rigid control over food may be the only way they’ve found to manage their severe, underlying anxiety. It can also be a lingering symptom of past trauma, an attempt to regain a sense of safety and control over their own body.
What drives disordered eating is the same perfectionism that fuels a host of mental health challenges. This is why social media and AI filters are strongly connected to these behaviors—they prey on anxiety and a poor sense of self.
Finding help
At Avery’s House, we specialize in treating these core, underlying conditions.
While we are not specifically an eating disorder facility, we treat the co-occurring anxiety, depression, and trauma that often fuel these harmful behaviors.
Our therapists help teens build resilience, develop healthy coping skills, and find a sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to their appearance or what they eat.
Finding out your child is struggling with disordered eating can be frightening, but it’s a symptom of a deeper pain that can be healed.
You are not alone.
Contact Avery’s House today to learn how we can help your teen address the root of their struggle and find a path to true well-being.
